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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
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We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
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Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
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Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
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I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
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Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
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Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
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Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
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Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
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A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
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It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
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2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
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Humor is just another defense against the universe.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
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The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:26
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